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Men, be advised. Rules for dealing with women.

1. Never make a woman mad. They can remember stuff that hasn’t even happened yet.

2. Behind every angry woman stands a man who has absolutely no idea what he did wrong.

3. Don’t try to understand women. Women understand women, and they tend to hate each other.

4. Arguing with a woman is like reading the Software License contract. In the end, you have no option but to ignore everything and click “I agree.”

5. Every time you talk to your wife, your mind should remember that this conversation will be recorded for training and quality purposes.
And will, I would add, be rebroadcast at a much later date for what will be purported to be your own good.

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Re: that picture of "Mohammad's Favorite Bacon".

I have heard that some miscreants, and I most assuredly do not recommend this, have placed bacon packages within halal approved food displays at grocery stores. According to what I read, when found the staff responsible for the display then must remove the entire display and do some kind of cleansing ritual before setting it up again. Again I do not approve of this but in the interests of complete information, I share it.