Thirty Dollar Bet



Jack, a handsome man, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 pm.

He sat down at the bar next to Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and stared up at the TV as the 10 o'clock news came on.

The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a large building, preparing to jump.

Alexandria looked at Jack and said, "Do you think he'll jump?" Jack said, "You know what, I bet he will." Alexandria replied, "Well, I bet he won't." Jack placed $30 on the bar and said, "You're on!”

Just as she placed her money on the bar, the guy did a swan dive off of the building, falling to his death. She was very upset and handed her $30 to Jack, saying, "Fair's fair.. Here's your money."

Jack replied, "I can't take your money. I saw this earlier on the 5 o'clock news and knew he would jump."

Alexandria replied, "I did too, but I didn't think he'd do it again." Jack took the money.

Alexandria went back to work in the U.S. Congress.

The Surgeon



The surgeon came in looking tired and somber. “I’m afraid I'm the bearer of bad news,” he said as he surveyed the worried faces.

"The only hope left for your loved one at this time is a brain transplant.” It's an experimental procedure, very risky, but it is the only hope. Insurance will cover the procedure, but you will have to pay for the brain.

The family members sat silent as they absorbed the news. After a time, someone asked, “How much will a brain cost?”

The doctor quickly responded, “$5,000 for a Democrat's brain; $200 for a Republican's brain.”

The moment turned awkward. Some of the Democrats actually had to try not to smile, avoiding eye contact with the Republicans.

A man unable to control his curiosity, finally blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask, “Why is the Democrat's brain so much more than a Republican's brain?”

The doctor smiled at the childish innocence and explained to the entire group, “It's just standard pricing procedure. We have to price Republicans’ brains a lot lower because they're used.”


SEND THIS TO A Republican WHO NEEDS A LAUGH,

AND TO ANY Democrat WHOM YOU THINK CAN HANDLE A JOKE

David was in his 5th-grade class when the teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living.

All the typical answers came up - fireman, policeman, salesman, doctor, lawyer.

David was uncharacteristically quiet, so the teacher asked him about his father.

"My father's an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off all his clothes in front of other men, and they put money in his underwear. Sometimes, if the offer's really good, he'll go home with some guy and have sex with him for money."

The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some exercises and took little David aside to ask him, "Is that really true about your father?"

"No," said David, "he works for Nancy Pelosi, but I was too embarrassed to say that in front of the other kids."

Quote: Cincinnatus wrote in post #323

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WELCOME BACK JOE!

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