The World Health organization issued a report Wednesday claiming that eating bacon greatly increases the chances of your getting cancer. Other health experts say don't let that report alarm you. Statistics also say that not eating bacon greatly increased the chances of you blowing yourself up.
President Trump responded quietly to North Korea's dud missile launch on Saturday in which the rocket exploded on the launch pad and didn't travel far, leaving Kim Jung Un red-faced. North Korean missiles are exactly like U.S. civil servants. You can't fire them and you can't make them work.
California Berkeley students clashed with pro-Trump supporters Saturday at the Patriots Day rally. The snowflakes are livid. Last week President Trump announced the U.S. just dropped the Mother of All Bombs on ISIS and now college kids are protesting because he just assumed its gender.
North Korea's government issued a warning Friday blaming President Trump for causing the tensions between North Korea and the U.S. There was the usual bluster by both sides. Kim Jung Un on Friday threatened to nuke Los Angeles, and Hollywood stars vowed to move to Canada if he does.
The U.S. Navy SEALs were reportedly planning a raid to take out Kim Jung Un and remove him from North Korea. It'll make quite a splash. The plan is to kidnap Kim, helicopter him to Seoul, escort him on a United flight to Tokyo then discover halfway there that once again we're overbooked.
White House Security Advisor K.T. McFarland was coy Monday when asked if the U.S. hacked into Kim Jung Un's missile system and caused his North Korean missile test to misfire Saturday. Kim may have met his match. President Trump just threatened to kill Kim Jung Un live on Facebook.
Kim Jung Un celebrated the one hundred and fifth anniversary of the birth of North Korea's founder by firing a missile that exploded on the launch pad. Everyone's just mortified. It turns out the reason the chicken crossed the road was to get away from Kim Jung Un's long-range missiles.
North Korean television on Sunday aired a mock video of a North Korean missile attack that destroys the West Coast of the United States. An actual attack would leave California, Oregon and Washington state up in smoke. And everybody was wondering why Trump's been egging them on.
The USS Nimitz aircraft carrier group completed war exercises with Australia's navy Tuesday and set sail in the direction of North Korea. You just can't be too careful. Trump is sending a huge U.S. Navy armada to the coast of North Korea to witness the launch of their latest Roman candle.
Fox News fired Bill O'Reilly Wednesday over all the workplace sexual harassment claims filed against him by women. He found out he was fired right after meeting with Pope Francis in the Vatican. It was a nice try to go to the one place that had saved Kennedy careers for one hundred years.
Canada reported apprehending a record eighteen hundred border-crossing illegal aliens so far this year. Our neighbors to the north aren't so innocent. The latest poll show that Americans are sick and tired of Canadians coming down into this country and taking jobs away from our Mexicans.
-- Argus Hamilton
Fox News announced that Bill O'Reilly has been fired, after his sexual harassment scandal. Experts say it is not likely that any self-respecting network will ever hire him -- then CNN said, "Welcome aboard!"
Chelsea Clinton recently said that when her mom traveled, she would leave a note for her every day that she was gone. Though every day the note just read, "Keep an eye on your father."
-- Jimmy Fallon
Today, North Korean leader Kim Jong-un warned that he might unleash a "super mighty preemptive strike." When she heard, Mrs. Kim Jong-un rolled her eyes and said, "Trust me, I wouldn't worry about it."
-- Conan
Time magazine today released its annual list of the "100 Most-Influential People in the World." Making the list this year, Vladimir Putin, Kim Jong Un, Pope Francis, James Comey, and of course, Donald Trump. Hillary Clinton did not make the list. Which is really crazy. Hillary Clinton influenced a whole half of a country to vote for Donald Trump for president. You'd think that would be worth something.
She claims O'Reilly walked by her desk and called her "hot chocolate".
WITHOUT EVEN LOOKING AT HER!!!
now that's rude!!
"The demographic most opposed to President Trump is not a racial minority, but a cultural elite." Daniel Greenberg
"Failure to adequately denounce Islamic extremism, not only denies the existence of an absolute moral wrong but inherently diminishes our chances of defeating it." Tulsi Gabbard
"It’s a movement comprised of Americans from all races, religions, backgrounds and beliefs, who want and expect our government to serve the people, and serve the people it will." Donald Trump's Victory Speech 11/9/16
INSIDE EVERY LIBERAL IS A TOTALITARIAN SCREAMING TO GET OUT -- Frontpage mag
Front Porch Punditry
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Mon Apr 24, 2017 4:19 am
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Front Porch Punditry
