The CDC was reported Tuesday to have purchased cell phone location data in order to track the movements of Americans and monitor and record people's every move during last year's pandemic shutdown. The CDC has absolutely no license to spy on Americans like that. That's the job of the NSA.
President Biden's teleprompter broke down Tuesday so Joe started ad-libbing to reporters saying Delaware is a small state and never had a senator. The malfunction prompted a quick call to India. The guy from tech support said to unplug Joe, wait thirty seconds, plug him back in and see if that helps.
Dave Chappelle ripped L.A.'s DA for not filing felony charges against his onstage attacker at the Hollywood Bowl. No charges were filed against Will Smith for assaulting Chris Rock, either. Now the January Sixth rioters could get off Scot-free by claiming the U.S. Capitol is just another comedy club.
Churchill Downs reports eighty million dollars was bet onsite at the Kentucky Derby. The horses could sense the political mood of the crowd. Winner Rich Strike refused an invite to the White House to meet Biden and Kamala, saying if he wanted to see a couple of horse's asses, he'd have finished third.
Supreme Court justices faced angry protests in their front yards from strident backers of Roe vs. Wade Tuesday. Bette Midler went on TV and said every woman should take a knee whenever the National Anthem is played. In response, Bill Clinton changed his ringtone to the Star Spangled Banner.
Ohio Democratic Senate nominee Tim Ryan was accused of insulting the president Friday when he decided not to show up for President Biden's campaign trip to a Cincinnati auto plant. Tim Ryan's critics aren't familiar with the first rule of political endorsements. Never catch the bouquet at a funeral.
The New York Times reported that Hunter Biden is living in a twenty-thousand dollar per month rented home in Malibu which boasts a spectacular view of the ocean. Last week, Hunter Biden injured his testicles while he was surfing. He slammed his laptop shut when his wife suddenly walked in.
President Biden addressed the nation on inflation Tuesday and it appears he's pretty much down to practicing witchcraft. He seems to believe if he says Ultra MAGA twenty times, it will drive down gas prices. Every day I'm grateful to President Biden for saying the things the rest of us are too smart to say.
The Washington Post advised Biden to watch a Seinfeld episode when Jerry urges Costanza to do the opposite of what his instincts tell him to do and he becomes a success. It's bound to work. On Thursday Biden cancels oil leases in Alaska and the gulf amid fears that gas prices aren't high enough.
President Biden received his lowest approval rating ever at thirty-eight percent in the Monmouth Poll on Thursday. However Joe Biden is serenely unconcerned about the day's low approval rating. He's counting on midnight approval from Wisconsin, Pennsylvania and Georgia to put him over the top.
The Monmouth Poll Thursday said just nineteen percent of Americans think we're headed in the right direction. Yet our ability to adjust to calamity is heroic and ingenious. Starving American babies are disguising themselves as Ukrainian soldiers in the hope of getting forty billion dollars in Federal aid.
Senate Republicans urged Biden to cancel tariffs on baby formula made in China to restock our empty shelves. Meanwhile the White House is flying pallets of baby formula to the border. American mothers just need to go to Mexico and swim back across the Rio Grande in time for the midnight feeding.
Front Porch Punditry
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Mon May 23, 2022 4:08 am
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Front Porch Punditry
