Capitol Hill came alive Friday as new lawmakers staged videos and made over-the-top threats for media attention. Three women walk into a bar-- a socialist Puerto Rican, a pretend Cherokee and a Muslim with Tourettes syndrome. Donald Trump then buys the bar so this never happens again.
Freshman Muslim Congresswoman Rashida Tlaib called President Trump a mother-f***er in a speech Thursday. Her language drew fire from two factions. Tlaib was accused of promoting heterosexual images by the Gay Caucus, and the Black Caucus accused her of cultural appropriation.
U.S. Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez went on 60 Minutes, called for a seventy percent income tax and compared herself to Lincoln. An old tape came up of her dancing on a bar table in college. A lot of table dancers compare themselves to Lincoln with all five-dollar bills that get stuffed in their pants.
The Los Angeles Tourism Bureau reported a record number of visitors to Southern California in this past year from countries all over the world. This is the time when the snowbirds arrive in town. This month there are so many Canadians in Los Angeles it hardly feels like Mexico anymore.
The Hollywood Reporter says TV ratings were way down for the Hollywood awards shows last year. The Golden Globe Awards are followed by the Academy Awards, later followed by the Emmy Awards. If you watch all three, that's up to ten hours of lectures that can be applied to college credits.
President Trump's staff is now preparing his State of the Union speech this month to a hostile majority of Democrats in the U.S. Capitol. It's a given that he will be safe in the House Chamber. The Democrats would never shoot Trump because then they would have to admit that guns are useful.
President Trump gave a prime time speech to the nation live from the Oval Office on network TV Tuesday. In my mind, he sketched out his plan for the Trump Presidential Library. It's a very narrow building, twenty feet high and two thousand miles long, and offers a beautiful view of Mexico.
AOC was on a plane flying to D.C. She was seated in coach and noticed there was an open seat in first class so she went and sat in it. The flight attendant walks up to her.
Flight attendant: I'm sorry but you paid for a coach seat and can't be seated here.
AOC: I deserve to be seated here because I am a beautiful, socialist liberal U.S. Congresswoman flying to D.C.
Flight Attendant: I'm sorry but you have to go back to coach.
AOC: Then let me talk to someone higher.
The co-pilot comes in.
Co-pilot: I'm sorry but you paid for a coach seat and can't be seated here.
AOC: I deserve to be seated here because I am a beautiful, socialist liberal U.S. Congresswoman flying to D.C.
Co-Pilot: I'm sorry but you have to go back to coach.
AOC: Then I want to talk to someone higher.
The co-pilot goes back in the cabin and tells the pilot what happened. The pilot told him he would handle it and not to worry because his wife was a beautiful, socialist liberal as well so he knows how to deal with them. The pilot goes back and whispers something in AOC's ear and she gets up and goes back to coach and the pilot goes back to the cabin.
Front Porch Punditry
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Mon Jan 14, 2019 6:27 am
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Front Porch Punditry
