Things are so bad…
August 1, 2014

(1) Michelle Obama is forced to eat from her school lunch menu

(2) Illegal immigrants are running away across the border

(3) Michael Moore has lost weight

(4) Al Gore can’t release his second chakra

(5) The Clinton family will only make about $20 million this year

(6) John Boehner has no more tears left

(7) Nancy Pelosi finally checked into a mental institution

(8) John Kerry’s face has actually grown longer

(9) Chris “Tingles” Matthews is “alrokering” in his pants

(10) Obama will have to squeeze in a few more rounds of golf

(11) Lois Lerner’s toaster self-destructed

(12) Jimmy Carter says it’s bad

(13) They are using laugh tracks on the “Daily Show”

(14) The IRS Commissioner doesn’t look like an arrogant body orifice anymore

(15) The CIA is now competing against the NSA for spying domestically

(16) Eric Holder will appoint Special Prosecutors

(17) Rush Limbaugh is looking at properties in Singapore

(18) Sandra Fluke still can’t afford her own contraception

(19) When Obama’s friends in the media criticize his administration, it is not now considered racist

(20) Islamic terrorists no longer believe we are the “Great Satan”

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