A man brings his best buddy home for dinner unannounced at 5:30 pm after
work.

His wife begins screaming at him and his friend just sits and listens in.

"My hair & makeup are not done, the house is a mess, the dishes are not
done, I'm still in my pajamas and I can't be bothered with cooking tonight!
What the hell did you bring him home for?"

"Because he's thinking of getting married.

Q: Why do women live longer than men?

A: They don't live with women.