-1-
A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool ... After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split.

The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?'

'No, ' he replied, 'Arthritis.'

-2-

A man was telling his neighbor, 'I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect.'

'Really, ' answered the neighbor. 'What kind is it?'

'Twelve thirty.'

-3-

A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy:

'So I hear you're getting married?'

'Yep!'

'Do I know her?'

'Nope!'

'This woman, is she good looking?'

'Not really.'

'Is she a good cook?'

'Naw, she can't cook too well.'

'Does she have lots of money?'

'Nope! Poor as a church mouse.'

'Well, then, is she good in bed?'

'I don't know.'

'Why in the world do you want to marry her then?'

'Because she can still drive!'

-4-

An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.

The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly.

The other man said, 'What is the name of the restaurant?'

'What's the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know, the one that's red and has thorns.' The first man thought and thought and finally said,

'Do you mean a rose?'

'Yes, that's the one, ' replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, 'Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?'