#1 Scientology’s Newly Opened Building Offers “Super Powers”, With Devices Like “The Oiliness Table” by Eglman 16.11.2013 11:51


Yesterday we met Bat Kid and his supporters who brightened our day and showed us the superpowers of love, courage and kindness. You can find our story here and more wonderful pictures from that event here.

But we’re talking about REAL superpowers here now, courtesy of the Church of Scientology.

After an ungodly number of years spent building it, the behemoth known as the “Super Powers” building is finally ready for its grand opening in Clearwater, Florida tomorrow.

Begun in 1998, it has been fundraising boondoggle for years, enabling Scientology to suck millions from its followers in promise of great reward. Built to deliver “The Super Power Rundown”, it is supposed to increase the power of your 57 senses or “perceptics” to shift “the creation of a new civilization into overdrive” and move you to “a new realm of reality”.

Over the years, information has filtered out of lavish expense and renditions have emerged of the strange contraptions within.

It includes an “infinite pit”, and a “pain station”. Sounds really attractive…

But here today, we would like to introduce you to our personal favorite contraption.

It’s called the “Oiliness Table”. What superpower it embues you with, we haven’t a clue, although we can make some guesses.

Here are two schematic drawings:

Here is a rendition, not sure I want to hazard a guess about the yellow liquid (oil?):

Perhaps it makes you slick enough to bilk more people out of their life savings.

I’m sure that Tom Cruise and his BFF Scientology leader David Miscavige could opine on contraption, but I’m not sure we are at a high enough level to take it all in.

On second thought, you would be better off if you kept your hard-earned money and tried a nice massage. The oiliness wouldn’t rub off on you as much.


#2 RE: Scientology’s Newly Opened Building Offers “Super Powers”, With Devices Like “The Oiliness Table” by ThirstyMan 18.11.2013 07:21


I just woke up this morning feeling like writing about this....

Scientology is a tribute to man's sense that he is incomplete, that he needs expanding to reach into another dimension. Our sense of incompleteness prods us to search for a way to find completeness. Scientology is man's effort to solve a need by trying to jump, to reach, to attain to some extraordinary level or height. A logical place to start such a journey would be to heighten our senses, to make us feel more aware and in possession of an expanded knowledge, something others don't have.
This is where the cash outlay comes in. Once that moolah has left the pocket, it's seen as an investment in bettering oneself and getting closer to one's goal. Could there be a more logical place to start than by advancing oneself to a greater awareness?

Well Christianity stands in contrast. Still, man starts his journey with an incompleteness, in need of another dimension. We all have this felt need that spurs us on. But the Christian journey is top down, Christ coming to us and bringing our needed change to us via the Holy Spirit. We get heightened senses but by surrendering, not striving, not building something ourselves but by allowing the Divine to create in us a transformation that goes right to our root problem, sin/selfishness.

So a new heart and new powers, guide us as we begin as new creatures in and with the Holy Spirit. This all comes to us for the low, low price of zero dollars! Imagine just surrendering and it's free! a courtesy influx of the Holy Spirit from God via our Lord Jesus Christ. No second floor assortment of man made contraptions or any hefty withdrawal from your bank accounts.

Amazing the contrasts but it's not surprising that the wealthy would seek to parlay their achievements into some advantage. Remember Naaman? the guy who visited Elisha because he had leprosy? Perhaps we'd fall into the same mistake if we were both wealthy and powerful. Instinctively we're always looking for something "WE" can do to fix things.

But our instincts here are misguided. The problem is beyond our ability to do something for ourselves. The self-help formula dooms our efforts to earthly accomplishments. Our souls, however, created by God, yearn for the heavenly fix. That's infinitely more than what we can do for ourselves and it's free! sort of :D

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