#1 Today's Toons 1/2/17 by pookie18 02.01.2017 06:58

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This Thread Brought To You By The Letter P:



In Case You Missed It Dept.:

Donald Trump met with CEOs of Boeing and Lockheed Martin in Palm Beach and got them to reduce their prices. It's a start. Now if Trump can meet with the Mayflower Madam and work the same magic, the standing ovation he gets from Congress at the State of the Union will be heartfelt.

Joe Biden gave an interview to the Los Angeles Times Thursday in which he analyzed Hillary Clinton's election defeat. He said she never really decided exactly why she was running. I don't want to say the Clintons are finished, but Chelsea just enrolled in Trump University to learn a trade.

President Obama spoke to the Atlantic magazine and blamed Donald Trump's election on Fox News and Rush Limbaugh creating a fictional character named Barack Obama. He even alibis in the third person. Narcissistic Personality Disorder cannot be treated, it can only be voted into office.

A Jet Blue passenger stood over Ivanka Trump in the coach cabin before takeoff and berated her about her father as her kids looked on. Security took him off, kicking and screaming. Would someone please give these people a Participation Trophy so they'll think they won something?

The World Health Organization issued a report Wednesday claiming that eating bacon greatly increases the chances of you getting cancer. Other health experts say don't let that report alarm you. Statistics also say that not eating bacon greatly increases the chances of you blowing yourself up.

The Weather Channel aired footage of torrential rainstorms pounding Southern California on Wednesday night. It was the third rainstorm to drench Los Angeles in the last three weeks. Since the election the California drought has been reduced by ten percent and that's just from all the crying.

Berlin terrorist Anis Amri was killed by police in Milan Friday after he'd driven a stolen truck into Christmas shoppers in Germany. He left behind a video pledging allegiance to ISIS and vowing to slaughter Christians. Angela Merkel's government's still looking for a motive for the attack.

Donald Trump was given credit by CNBC Wednesday for the Trump Bump which has revved up the economy since the election. He caught a break on the West Coast. Hollywood stars are so frightened of dying due to the recent wave of celebrity deaths, they now say they can live with Trump.

John Kerry defended the U.N. censure of Israel for building settlements on Palestinian-claimed lands Wednesday. It doesn't stop there. After ordering the Arabs and Jews to get along after three thousand years of wars, the White House announced it's going to settle this Roadrunner-Coyote thing.

President Obama this week gave a valedictory interview to CNN to begin shaping its legacy. In a relaxed moment, he said he'd have beaten Trump had he been allowed to run for president again. It's like optimistically hoping that a bounced check will clear the third time that they run it through.

Donald Trump lashed back at President Obama's claim he could have defeated Trump had they been running against each other in the general election. It was a pretty cocky call. Barack Obama says he could've beaten Donald Trump with one of his birth certificates tied behind his back.

-- Argus Hamilton



(Thank you, Rev)

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