#1 The Old Italian golfer by Cincinnatus 09.01.2014 16:34

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An 80-year-old Italian goes to the doctor for a check-up. The doctor is amazed at what good shape the guy is in and asks, 'how do you stay in such great physical condition?'

I'm Italian and I am a golfer,' says the old guy, 'and that's why I'm in such good shape. I'm up well before daylight and out golfing up and down the fairways. I have a glass of vino, and all is well.'

"'Well' says the doctor, 'I'm sure that helps, but there's got to be more to it. How old was your Father when he died?'

The Old Italian golfer 'Who said my Father's dead?'

The doctor is amazed. 'You mean you're 80 years old and your Father's still alive. How old is he?'

The Old Italian golfer 'He's 100 years old,' says. 'In fact he golfed with me this morning, and then we went to the topless beach for a walk and had a little vino and that's why he's still alive. He's Italian and he's a golfer, too.'

'Well,' the doctor says, 'that's great, but I'm sure there's more to it than that. How about your Father's Father? How old was he when he died?'

The Old Italian golfer 'Who said my Nono's dead?'

Stunned, the doctor asks, 'you mean you're 80 years old and your grandfather's still living! Incredible, how old is he?'

The Old Italian golfer 'He's 118 years old,' says the Old Italian golfer.

The doctor is getting frustrated at this point, 'So, I guess he went golfing with you this morning too?'

The Old Italian golfer 'No, Nono couldn't go this morning because he's getting married today.'

At this point the doctor is close to losing it. 'Getting married? Why would a 118 year- old guy want to get married?'

The Old Italian golfer 'Who said he wanted to?

#2 RE: The Old Italian golfer by algernonpj 09.01.2014 17:50

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@Cincinnatus

Another good one. Thanks for the laugh !

#3 RE: The Old Italian golfer by ThirstyMan 09.01.2014 18:25

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it's a groaner!!!

#4 RE: The Old Italian golfer by Sanguine 09.01.2014 18:31

A shaggy dog joke.

#5 RE: The Old Italian golfer by ThirstyMan 09.01.2014 19:05

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Quote: Sanguine wrote in post #4
A shaggy dog joke.


a shaggy dog with flatus?

#6 RE: The Old Italian golfer by PzLdr 09.01.2014 19:19

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Old Italian couple goes to the Dr. for a checkup. After the exams and tests, the Dr. comes out and says" I have good news and bad news". The husband, Guiseppe says, Whatza the good news? The doctor responds "You're in perfect health"

Frowning, Giuseppe asks, "So whatza the bad news?" And looking at Guiseppe's wife, Angelina, the doctor says, "Angelina has acute angina." To which, smiling, Guiseppe responds, " 'Atsa Ok. Shesa got nice tits, too".

#7 RE: The Old Italian golfer by algernonpj 09.01.2014 19:25

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#8 RE: The Old Italian golfer by Sanguine 09.01.2014 20:25

"In its original sense, a shaggy dog story is an extremely long-winded anecdote characterized by extensive narration of typically irrelevant incidents and terminated by an anticlimax or a pointless punchline.

Shaggy dog stories play upon the audience's preconceptions of joke-telling. The audience listens to the story with certain expectations, which are either simply not met or met in some entirely unexpected manner.[1] A lengthy shaggy dog story derives its humour from the fact that the joke-teller held the attention of the listeners for a long time (such jokes can take five minutes or more to tell) for no reason at all, as the end resolution is essentially meaningless.[2]...https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shaggy_dog_story"

My mother loved shaggy dog jokes, like "It's a long way to tip a rarie". It takes an odd sense of humor.

#9 RE: The Old Italian golfer by Cincinnatus 09.01.2014 22:24

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My mother loved shaggy dog jokes, like "It's a long way to tip a rarie".

By golly, I know that one and think it's hysterical. Mom had a good sense of humor.

#10 RE: The Old Italian golfer by Sanguine 09.01.2014 22:36

Quote: Cincinnatus wrote in post #9
My mother loved shaggy dog jokes, like "It's a long way to tip a rarie".

By golly, I know that one and think it's hysterical. Mom had a good sense of humor.


And, the kloch maker. I don't remember all of the twists and turns of that one.

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